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So there seems to’ve been a bit of confusion in regards to my post early last week. I got a few questions, some concerned private messages and texts and emails and I feel that I need to do a little clarifying.

I do not hate thin people. I do not think thin people are evil, or even necessarily out to get me. What I do think is that people with ideal body types are living with a kind of privilege. As much as my thin friends love and accept and support me and all my body issue struggles they can never quite understand what it’s like to be not just jeered in the hallways and called lard-ass for letting any inch of my skin show, but to have this information confirmed by medical doctors before you even walk through the doorway. To have a doctor look at you and before taking any measurements and immediately decide that everything that’s wrong with you is a result of your size. You are not consulted on this. Options are not discussed. Your body is viewed as a disease, a cancer. All you’re told is that you’re a problem, and by the way here are some pamphlets on weight loss surgery. To amputate your problem.

It took me a long time to find a good doctor. I’m not opposed to someone telling me I need to alter my diet for varying health-related reasons, but losing weight for the sake of just looking thin, frankly, isn’t health. It’s vanity. And sure, you can make choices to alter your image as you like– it’s your body. Hell, later down in this very post I’m going to talk about fashion, various ways to alter your image to suit your own definition of vanity. But what you won’t see is me doing is telling other people how to define their image. You won’t see me cutting other people down for how they look. You won’t see me judging someone’s health by the bags under their eyes, by the tone of their skin or by how chapped their lips are. Your body and how you choose to love it is entirely your business. It could be your lips are chapped because you spent your weekend hiking under the sun, swimming, rejuvenating your body in the great outdoors. It could be you’re actually healthier now, at the very least mentally, for it. But it most certainly isn’t any of my business to decide I can judge the center of your problems by pointing out aspects of your physical body that our social media tells us are indicative of poor health.

It’s so, so hard for a fat person to see themselves as anything other than a diseased person who needs a cure. That’s all this is about. That’s all what this entire blog is about. Being a visible source of someone who’s both fat and happy with how I look and being a venue for other people to be introduced to the revolutionary concept that you are not a disease. You are not a problem that needs to be cured. And for those who are fat-allies or for those of you simply seeking more information as to the baffling concept that fat is not an indicator of health, it’s hopefully an introduction to that world.

 

Top: Dress Barn (22) – Gift
Bottom: Lane Bryant (18) – $10
Belt: Forever XXI (2X/3X) – $6.80
Necklace: Gift Shop – $7
Earrings: Forever XXI – $3.80
Shoes: Thrifted (10) – $5

Total:  $27.65

This outfit is made a little cheaper by the top being gifted, but even then I think this top retails at about $20. I love this top. I love the color of it, that bright teal– there’s just so much you can do with it. I don’t even have to accent it very heavily. Pair some neutrals and let the top do the work for you.

Though I adore these shoes, they demonstrate in part how much I loathe the way our sizing systems work on a global basis. My shoe size is an 8.5W. It’s pretty hard to find shoes in this actual size, so I end up trying on a lot of eights or nines, depending on how I’m wearing the shoe. If I wear them with socks I can end up with a nine, for example. But these? A ten. A ten. Ugh. Proof that I always have to try on shoes when I’m testing a new brand. Ridiculous.